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2003-04-26 - 12:18 p.m.

ASK NATALIE

Q: I had been friends with this guy for the longest time and when he started making new friends and getting into a bad crowd - he started to turn all evil and mean. (note* the fact he is a guy doesn't have any significance) I tried to reason with him but he's still over in the crowd and we don't even talk to eachother anymore. He stares at me a lot though; it's kinda creepy. Anyways, is there anyway I can reason with him, or even just become friends with him again?

A: i am all about keeping friends, especially friends who have stood the test of time. but, there is no point making yourself feel bad, either. what i would do is this: call him (or write him a real paper letter) and tell him how much you miss him, and that you still consider him your friend, but it makes you sad watching him being all mean. tell him you still care about him, and that if he ever want to talk to you, he knows where you are. there is no point trying to reason with someone who is trying to be a bad-ass. they will be as bad-ass as they want and hang out with whoever. you just gotta let him know you are there for him if he wants you to be, and let him decide.

Q: Natalie!

I have a big problem. See, I'm going out with this totally foxy girl and she's always saying things like, "Jeff, let's go back to my place." or "oh man, I wanna do you right here." I know what you're thinking, how is that a problem? Well, the thing is, that's all she ever wants to do! I'm all for sex, I think it's great, but I want to get to know her too! Like, I can't remember having more than one actual conversation with her. And that is bad. So now that I've explained the situation, I need help starting conversations with her. But remember, I'm NOT trying to get her into bed so I don't want a conversation that leads to sex, just† one that leads to intellectual enlightenment.

thanks.

A: whoa! hmm. i am going to assume that you have been going out with her for a little bit. did the relationship start by you two hopping in the sack? cause if it did, maybe she thinks that is what you want.

but even if it did, i can understand wanting to know what makes her tick. go see a band she likes. ask her who her favorite president is. ask her about her family, about whatever she majored in or job she has. ask her what issues she cares about. when she says something, listen to her and follow it up with a question about what she just said. if it seems like you are real interested, she is more likely to tell you more.

Q: dear natalie,

how can i respectfully and efficiently let my landlords know that they are slow-ass motherfuckers when it comes to keeping the house i rent from them in working order? shouldn't it take them less than two months to come and fix washer/dryer hook-ups?

i appreciate your help,

Mounds and Mounds of Dirty Clothes in Tulsa

A: a lease is an agreement that you both signed. your side of the deal is basically to pay your rent on time every month and not wreck the place. their side of the deal is to make sure the apartment is a pleasant place to live. they are not keeping up their end, plain and simple.

call your rental company and tel then what you need done, and when you want it done by. be real nice about it. if they still donít do your stuff, it is your option to put your rent into escrow. this means that you pay your rent to a bank, and your landlord doesnít get any of it until they make the repairs. good luck!

Q: Hey Natalie!

So i like this guy who happens to be my Teaching assistant. and i made him this book of poems and stuff (with really cool pictures out of an old children's book) telling him how much i like him and that he made me happy and no body has done that in a long time. I gave it to him on Wednesday and he hasn't replied. I know he is really busy because this week is the a big week at our school and all (Grand prix week i.e. a week of drinking and partying and also finals are two weeks away). But should i do anything or should i just expect that he doesn't like me and i freaked him out? I don't have a class with him until next Wednesday and that will be the last time i see him this semester.† What should i do Natalie???

Thanks for your advice

A: this truly is a predicament.... if you had asked me before you gave him the awesome pictures and poems, i probably would have told you that was a bad idea, at least until classes were out. even TAs have the same kinds of rules of conduct as professors and teachers. namely, relations with a student are a no-no. so, even if he was psyched about the stuff you gave him, he is not realy allowed to do anything about it, especially since you are still in his class.

but you lobbed that ball so far into his court that now all you can do is wait and see if he lobs it back. maybe he will. maybe he wonít. but i bet if he is into you you wonít hear anything about it for a couple of weeks. his job is on the line, here, after all. but if he isnít into it, then he is not cool enough to hang with an awesome creative chick like yourself, anyway, and you can go and shake it in someone elseís general direction.

Q: i lost the perfect job because the owner of the business was uncomfortable with my boyfriend and i working together. what should i do now?

-jaded and jobless

A: were you guys not so discreet about you relationship? thatís always key when dating a co-worker. you either donít acknowledge it at all, or you keep it real cool. but its too late for that now. try to find out what company policy on coworker relations is. if the company handbook doesnít say anything about it, bring it up with your ex-boss and see if he might take you back if you agree to work different hours/days than your boyfriend, and agree to keep it super-professional. if the company handbook gives dating people at work the gas face, usually there is some kind of thing where they will move you to a different location or department. its worth a try. if it doesnít work out, put that perfect job on your resume and use it to get another more-perfect job.

Q: Hi Natalie,

I have two cat issues.

1. How can I make my cat stop breaking the Litter Maid?? He breaks it almost every time I fix it, or shortly thereafter. It's really pissing me off. No pun intended.

2. How do I get my cat to STOP WAKING ME UP 10-15 mins before the alarm goes off on the weekdays, and at all on the weekends.

Help!

-C0

A: cats are pretty awesome.

your cat has you trained pretty well. there are a couple things it likes to do, namely breaking the litter maid and waking you up, and you keep letting him. i donít have a cat, but i have a friend who does, and has all kinds of experience with animal type stuff, and this is what she told me...

in order to get him to quit waking you up, keep a spray bottle by your bed and whenever he wakes you up, squirt him in the face. after the third or fourth time getting squirted, he should figure it out. also, donít feed him first thing in the morning. if you do, your cat will associate you waking up with him getting fed. also, there is somethign to be said for keeping your bedroom door closed. as for the litter maid problem, you canít very well squirt him whenever he does it, or he will start crapping all over your house. so i would recommend getting him all kinds of cats toys and stuff like that, cause he is probably doing it because he is bored.

Q: hellooo. †i was just wondering, since you worked in a sex shop, if you know how long to wait before having sex after having a UTI or kidney infection?! †this is a very serious issue.

A: well, i am not a doctor, but i think if i had a UTI and was all horny, i would wait until i was done with all my antibiotics or whatever you take for one of those, then i would start masturbating periodically (with freshly-washed hands, cause you donít wanna go rubbing more bacteria up in your urethra.) if nothing hurt, and it wasnít unpleasant at all, i would go ahead and go for it. and make sure you are wrapping it up. i am not sure if that has anything to do with UTIs, but it sure as hell canít hurt.

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