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2003-04-24 - 2:10 p.m.

i have never been in a band...

actually that is a lie. i have been in a couple real-life bands. bands that played music. the most successful of which was Dennis Pancake, a band i was in with one of my dear friends. i played accordian, and she played bass. we wrote songs about giving blow jobs to your boss at work and letting him jerk off on your face, and songs about dating guys who lost a testicle in some accident, and songs about what various buttons do when you push them. but we sang all the songs in unison and we pretty much had no percussion, unless you count when my roommate played woodblocks and triangle when we recorded our album. one time, we tried to convince mojo nixon to let us open for him, but he was not so down with the idea. he was down with sticking his face in our tits, though.

most people who heard us said we sounded like the shaggs. if you do not know who the shaggs are, i recommend looking them up and, if possible, downloading an MP3 of "my pal foot foot".

i also played in a couple bands when they played out. i usually got kicked out after playing once.

i am not good at writing songs at all though. any instruments i play, i play well enough to write songs with 3 notes and no hooks or anything. my lyrics are super shitty. so, usually when i get in a mood, i just start an imaginary band.

i have had a trillion imaginary bands. my most recent imaginary band is my friend brucie and i playing some kind of instrument, and instead of having someone sing, we will just play along to pre-recorded vocal track.

i am sure it will go nowhere.

love- natalie

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