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2003-04-11 - 11:08 p.m.

it is friday night and i am watching PET STARS.

have you ever watched that show? it is fucked up.

there was this dyed pink poodle doing one of those ring-toy things. you know, the ones where they have the rings and you put them on the spike thing and you have to put them in order so they make the little cone-shaped thing. i dunno.

they also had this huge dog that walked on its hind legs. the thing is, it walked on its hind legs from the recliner where its owner was sitting to this refrigerator. then the dog opens the refrigerator, gets a beer out, and carries it back to the recliner and hands it to the dude. all of this on its hind legs.

once in awhile someone will go on the show with their dog, and they taught the dog some lame-ass frisbee trick, but the dog will not do it, or the dog keeps screwing it up. i always get annoyed when that happens.

but today i wondered to myself, why? why am i getting mad at this dog who can't do some trick on tv? more importantly, WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE SPENDING SO MUCH TIME TEACHING THEIR DOG TO DO SOMETHING USELESS? (ok, maybe teaching the dog to get you a beer is not-so-useless.) its a DOG.

you know what trick i want my dog to be able to do? don't crap in the house. don't crap in the house and don't attack my friends. oh, also if the dog could be real awesome at cunnilingus, that would be a good trick.

love- natalie

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