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2003-07-17 - 10:04 p.m.

so, the same weekend we did all that fireworks bullshit, i had some friends over for a cookout. it wasn't so much a cookout as it was me putting things on the george foreman grill in my kitchen. i made turkey burgers. i am not sure if you ever had one, but they are the most delicious thing in the world. that's not the point of my story though.

during this get-together, my friend and i started having a conversation about metal. we like metal. stoner metal, to be specific. we talked about what makes it sweet, and how there are no good metal bands anymore, except for the melvins, and how there are absolutely no good metal bands with chicks in them.

so on saturday we started our metal band.

on sunday we had our first practice.

i do not play guitar, and my friend does not play drums. we had no instruments. so we just went over my brother's house and took over all his gear while he sat there in horror. we played his instuments, and it was not good at all. then he told us we could never ever play at his house ever again.

on monday we went out and bought our own gear.

i taught myself how to drop the old D, and play power chords, so monday's practice went a little better. and my friend was actually keeping some kind of beat. it was still not so good. but infinitely better than the first time.

we decided what our band's name was... the name was LEE HARVEY OSWALD SHIT REACTOR.

for the rest of the week, we pretty much just practiced every day.

when i say "practice" i mean sit around and listen to metal and talk about how we need to play slower and drop the strings on the guitar so low that they flop all over the place. then we practice until it gets so god-awful hot in her upstairs apartment with not-enough-windows that we have to quit or die. we started playing in our underwear.

then we got a bassist. she also plays trombone, although i am not sure how that is going to play into it.

at the first practice with our bass player, we decided to change the band name. we all got 30 or 40 little slips of paper each, and we all wrote words that we like on all the slips. then we pulled two slips out of the hat at a time, and each time we did it was a potential band name. we wrote them all on a list, and then voted when we were done.

THE NIPPLE, LIMP POOPIE, FUCKASS BALLHAIR, and a whole bunch of other names that made us sound like we had tourette's got thrown out. we took stock, thought hard, and voted. we all voted for the one name that would make us sound like serious musicians.

the new name was BOOB SWITCH

and we have a show in a week. it is gonna be absurd.

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