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2003-05-24 - 11:05 a.m.

i have been sick for the last few days.

actually, i may have been sick for a lot longer, but when you don't have insurance, you tend to ignore little things cause you would feel dumb paying 100 dollars to have some doctor tell you there is nothing wrong with you.

anyhow, i'm sick, so i made an appointment to see a doctor. my appointment was today at 8:30 in the morning. i sat in the waiting room until almost 10. there were kids running all over the place yelling, and i was feeling pretty cruddy.

i finally got in to see the doctor, and told her all about my sore throat with pustules and my acheyness and my rash i have all over my legs and back.

the doctor called for this dude who evidently has a PhD in rashes, who thought my rash was some kind of great thing. he looked at it from all kinds of angles, and then pointed out how i also have a rash on my face. i thought i was just breaking out a little bit, but what do i know.

they did swabs of my throat and all that jazz. then the doctors told me the diagnosis....

SCARLET FEVER AND THE CLASSIC UNDERPANTS RASH. the docotrs actually called it the classic underpants rash.

i, natalie dee, have scarlet fever. people on the oregon trail died of scarlet fever. scarlet fever made helen keller blind and deaf. scarlet fever makes natalie dee miss work and watch TV all day long. i evidently have the scarlet fever rash on the back of my neck and shoulders. i didn't notice.

the classic underpants rash is unrelated to the scarlet fever. they think it is from my soap or detergent i use, so i have to use special stuff and go back in a couple weeks to see if my butt cleared up.

the doctors also said i have roseacea. all this time i thought i just looked kinda irish, kinda like i was walking around in the cold. but no, it is a disease, and a disease that the rash doctor said was VERY INTERESTING AND SOMETHING THAT HE WOULD LIKE TO WATCH IN THE FUTURE. he even thanked me for showing it to him.

so that is my story. one girl, one 19th centruty illness, and three rashes, one which is chronic. i feel like i really accomplished something. if you have been sick recently and your diagnosis was dumber than mine, drop me a line. it might make me feel better if someone told me about when they went to the doctor and had impetigo and diptheria and athlete's foot or something.

love- natalie

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