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2004-11-08 - 7:35 p.m.

lately, i have been pretty taken with going to the mall. it is pretty much my favorite thing to do. i never buy anything, i just kinda look around and pick things up, smell them, and put them back down. there are a few malls in the city where i live, and i go to them equally. when i visit new cities, i like to see what their mall is like. i'm not sure what is wrong with me.

so, on my birthday, my husband and i went to the mall. we walked around to all the stores, went out and headbanged in the parking lot, and then went back into the mall for dinner. it was pretty sweet. while on this awesome excursion, i noticed that there were a ton of bars all over the mall. the coffee shop there even sold mixed drinks. i am not much of a drinker, but it got me thinking...

how awesome would it be to get sloshed at the mall?? i just kept thinking about walking into the gap and just puking on the floor. or trying to have sex with the weird goth dude at hot topic. it would be awesome. it would be even more awesome if you were smashed at the mall at like 2 in the afternoon. man, i get all excited just thinking about it.

i think the best part of getting drunk at the mall would be that you could take the bus there in the late morning, drink, and then go home on the bus in the early evening. it would cost like 2.00, and you would not have to drink and drive, or walk home in the dark. NO, the best part would be when you woke up with some bad haircut you got at Saturday's, only you do not remember going to Saturday's. oh, man, i am getting all excited.

OK! so, if you live in columbus and you are 21 or older, write a 250 word essay about why you think drinking at the mall would be amazing, and i will pick my favorite one, and me and whoever wrote the essay will go drink at the mall. OH MAN, there would be nothing better than drinking at the mall, except maybe drinking at the mall with some stranger from the internet. score.

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