2005-02-03 - 3:58 p.m.THIS WEEK IN NATALIE...
hey you guys. sorry i have not written in this thing in a while. i have been pretty swamped, what with work and general life-stuff.
i am not too busy with work anymore, mainly because i just stone-cold quit my job. it was getting pretty heinous, so i just had to skip outta that joint. when i first got there, it was real laid back, and i would just come in, do my job, and leave. nobody ever bothered me. it went on like that for a good long while, then they started installing all of this software to keep track of everything we did.
they started recording every single phone call that came in and went out. they started taking random screen shots of our computers to make sure we weren't fucking around on the internet or anything. they started making us sign in and out for breaks. the best was whey installed this program called QMASTER which is basically a program that routes your phone through your computer. whenever we would leave our desk, we would have to go to this pulldown menu and select the reason we were leaving our desks. like MEETING or LUNCH or FAX MACHINE or, if you had to pee, PERSONAL. that is all fine and good, i liked knowing where my coworkers were in case i needed to talk to them or something.
but then, one day, my immediate supervisor left this 5 page printout on my desk. the printout contained an itemized list of EVERY SINGLE THING i had done the previous day, and every time i went to the bathroom, she highlighted it. then, on the last page, she totalled everything up and wrote something that basically amounted to HEY YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM TOO MUCH QUIT IT. it averaged out to me being away from my desk 3 minutes per hour. whatever. i know i get more done than anyone there, cause they post our stats in the office, so it is not an issue of the quality of my work. it is an issue of them being power-hungry. whatever. like i said, i quit, and now i have nothing but time to do whatever i want.
i also got this sinus infection. it is pretty awesome. my nose is like a faucet, and i am balancing on the edge of bronchitis. the doctor i go to, though, is a crazy script-writing fool. he gave me scripts for decongestants and expectorants and NARCOTICS (??) and also for Nasonex. have you ever taken Nasonex? it is pretty nasty. i do not mind squirting stuff up my nose (just ask my husband), but i really can't hang with squirting something up my nose that smells like fake flowers and drips down the back of my throat so i can taste it. i have a theory why they made it taste like flowers, though. you know how they say that the opposite smell of the smell of a rotting corpse is cinnamon candies? i think the opposite smell of the gross post-nasal drip smell is flowers. that's just my theory. i have nothing to back it up.
you know that thing where you figure out your drag name by combining your first pet's name with the name of the street you grew up on? when i do mine, i end up with WHITEY ROACHWAY, which is not that awesome. my husband would be McFLY CLAYTON. this, also, does not really have connotations of being seductive while hiding your penis. my little sister would be ROMEO REED, which is actually kinda awesome, but not drag queen-y. no matter how you play the game, you will never end up with a real drag queen-sounding name like LADY MISS MARILYN VON SNEAKYDICK.
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