Q: natalie i'll be 18 in like
amonth and my mom is none other than a syco bitch. she still thinks i'm going to go by her
fuckin insane rules, i'm a damn prisoner in my own home. if you were me would you not leave
and never look back or would you try to establish some kind of relationship with
A: "wah wah wah. i'm 17 years old and completely unable to take care of
myself, and feel all helpless, so i am gonna shit on the one person who takes care of me and
tries to make sure i have everything i need." whatever, that teen angst shit doesn't fly with
me, honey. i was in baghdad when you were in your dad's bag, so you can't come step to me and
think i am gonna answer a question like that without dressing you down. you are a MINOR, who
still lives with your parents. of course you are gonna go by her fucking rules. its her
fucking house. if you were my daughter, and you pulled some kind of attitude with me like you
were hot shit and i was just cramping your style, i would tell you to fucking shape up or get
the fuck out. i tell you what, you are not ready to take care of yourself. you need some
kind of semblance of maturity to be able to swing it with the adults out in grown up world,
by your e-mail i can tell you don't have that. you mother brought you into this world, has
taken care of you for all these years, and probably bought those JNCOs you are wearing right
now. get it together, one day you will wish you hadn't treated the one person who loves you
more than anything so disrespectfully. you make me sick. now, on to questions that don't
turn my stomach...
Q: Should I drop out of my MFA program?
yes. if you already have a bachelor's, that is enough to get a job, and nobody is going to be
all like MASTER OF FINE ARTS? LETS HIRE HER TO BE THE RESIDENT PICTURE PAINTER AT OUR
FABULOUS COMPANY. having a degree is valuable, but an arts degree will only get you as far as
you can throw it. it would be better to spend your time developing your own style and
portfolio, and peddle that. if you stuff is good, they will hire you regardless of your
degree, if not, they will not hire you just because you have one. good
Q: here's my question. Both I and my twin sister
recently went away
to college, to different colleges in
completely different states. I didn't think it would be
big deal, but it is proving to be very traumatic for both of
us. I love the college I go to
and don't want to leave, and
the same applies for her. Aside from just calling a whole
such, what suggestions do you have for helping both
of us to cope?
A: that is a
toughie. i would suggest e-mails and letters and visits. also, i know you did not want me to
tell you to call each other, but if you get cell phones from the same company, you can call
each other for free, then you can talk to each other when you are walking to class or waiting
for the bus, and it will be almost like being together, only people will think you are talking
to yourself. maybe that is not a good answer, but i am probably the wrong person to ask. my
sister lives a mile away and i haven't seen her since my wedding 6 months
Q: So I recently got Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. That's one of
diseases that's on the STD card they give you when you're a freshman in
when people ask why I can't walk right or can't do any
physical activity for six weeks (that's
to minimize scarring so I'm not
infertile in the future), should I just say, "I have a
condition," and leave it at that? Or should I just come out with it and
say that I
have PID and face the stigma? Interestingly enough, the
infection was not caused by venereal
bacteria...but hey...do I really
want to go into it? What's your take on it?
i would be specific with the people you know well, and vague with the people you don't. i am
all for being honest with people, but i understand that sometimes people you don't know don't
appreciate it that much. i would not want to explain to my boss that my disease is not
venereal disease, but i would want to educate people i know that i have a disease that is
sometimes a venereal disease but sometimes not. rock on.
Q: I would like
to know if there is such a thing as bean cream. I have been looking for it everywhere, even
Wales! I could not find any, but I'd just like to know if you've ever heard of it and know
what or where it is
A: do you mean hummus?? i think you mean hummmus.
Q: I wear womens jeans, not because im a cross dresser or
because jeans made for the "normal" male
body type are all hidiously baggy and if i get a
that is long enough they are gangster saggy pants. I
also hate to use belts because all
the excess stuff
bunches up and makes lumps. however alot of female
jeans (size 6) are a
little short. so would adding a
strip of denim too the ends look even stupider than a
man that is 6'4 138lbs wearing womens jeans that
are slightly too short
think highwaters would be better. pants with extended cuff might look kinda retarculous. i
bet you could get online, though, and check to see if you could order super-long women's
pants. those real tall bitches gotta get their pants somewhere.
alright well heres the deal...im dating my friends ex and I really want to have sex with him
but it scares me that he had sex with my friend. I don't really feel like I want to be doing
my girl friend, ya know? so what should I do?
A: don't fuck him. fucking your
friend's ex-boyfriend is not that classy. i think the #1 rule of friends is that you do not
swoop in and snatch their leftovers. obviously you have some reservations about it, or else
you would not be asking me. spare your own self-esteem and your friend's feelings (cause it
will hurt her feelings. her feelings are probably hurt from you dating him already) and just
don't do it. there are more dudes in the world than good friends, and it is not worth
Q: I love your cartoons, but I was wondering why so many of your
pictures of things saying no? Why are you so negative?
A: i do
not think it is negative. like "do i have to go to work today?" "nooooo." see? that is
Q: hi natalie! what's your favourite position to have sex? i'm
just looking to
try new stuff, with my man, and was wondering what you like, since you
A: missionary through a hole in the sheet.
What was highschool like for you ?
A: it was great.
people call you nat? do you really fucking hate it a lot? i would hate
A: actually, i do hate it a lot. there is a dude at work who calls me
nat, and i pretty much hate him just because of that. i find it kinda irritating. we should
start a club, cause we both hate being called
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