9-7-2004: hundred dollar whiny bitch

Q: i was just curious to see what religion you follow. i'm thinking of converting to something else b/c i really dont know what to believe, anything you think i should look into?

A: i think you ought to ask that question of yourself, not so much some chick on the internet who draws pictures of hot dogs.

Q: I recently moved away to college, and it has basically been awesome, except for one detail. Finding a completely new set of friends is hard and slightly depressing. Any tips?

A: give yourself some time. do stuff you like doing, and be nice to people when you do stuff you like to do. if people ask you to hang out or go to a party or something, don't opt out. you never know who else you might meet. i think the secret to making friends is being social and friendly. you will meet some people, and they will like you.

Q: Im a freshman in college, and am a homo. I met a guy who i really get along with, we like the exact same music and everything. He doesn't know im gay and the thing is, i think he's gay but i dont know for sure. If he is, i want to be in a relationship with him, but i don't know how to bring the subject about considering its delicate and kinda tricky. Though you may not have any experience in this field, do you have any advice?

A: hmmmm. this is a toughie. if you were a dude and he was a chick, i would tell you to just kiss him, but with whole you-are-both-dudes thing, it could backfire and you could get socked. plus, even if he is gay, too, he might not have come to terms with his gayness and be ready to have a relationship. or he might be gay and just not have it for you. whew. i can see your problem. if i were you, i would just let him know you are gay. then, if he lets you know that he is gay, you can flirt with him and see how that goes. good luck!!

Q: A friend of mine went out with this guy for over a year and they were a very cute couple. Then she dumped him rather suddenly. Later, I started going out with him, and we have been dating for about two months now. Now I am insanely jealous of my friend. It's not that I dislike her now. I'm just constantly afraid that my relationship with him will never be as good as hers was, and I cannot stop thinking about them... doing stuff, and it drives me insane. Any tips on how to get over this? Also, is it reasonable for me to want to know how far they got in the relationship, or just psycho? and if it's reasonable, which one of them should I ask?

A: if you can't handle it, you oughtta just break up with him and put yourself out of your misery. you gotta face the fact that they are not dating anymore, and whatever happened in their relationship is just none of your business. either enjoy dating your boyfriend or don't date him.

Q: I constantly have dreams of tripping, not tripping on acid or anything, just tripping and falling. When I hit the ground is when I wake up with a twitch like jerk and my whole body just about jumps off the bed. I've been having these dreams since I can remember. As dreams sometimes predict the future, or at least they do mine for the next day, I am wondering if I will ultimately trip and fall to my death. I am not a clumsy person in reality- only in my dreams. Should I be concerned ? and is there a number of fatalities per year from tripping and falling I wonder?

A: i have those dreams all the time too. i heard somewhere that if you do not wake up when you hit the ground, you will have a heart attack and die, although i think that might be an old wives tale. i find i have those dreams most often when i am falling asleep when i am not supposed to, like when i am in the bathtub or something. sometimes i fall off a cliff, but other times it is like i am slipping on ice, and i slip backwards and crack my head that way. i would not worry about falling to your death, though, cause i think that falling to death is pretty uncommon.

Q: I met a guy and he had the potential to make something of himself in life (which is more than I can say for most of my boyfriends) so I dated him for a while. He was very cocky but I overlooked it because he had the potential to be rich and the sex was good. We decided to go to on vacation together. We split the cost 50/50... he put it on his credit card and I transferred my half into his account. Before the trip, I decided I couldn't put up with his cocky ass anymore so I told him I didn't want to go on vacation with him. So he cancelled the trip and I told him he could write me a check for my half. He gave me the check and it was like $100 short of what he owed me. I called him and he said that it was going to cost him $100 to change his flight. I told him this wasn't my problem. He said I could take him to small claims court if I wanted, but he thinks a judge will side with him. He is a law student. Should I take his skanky lying ass to court or not? Please help!!

A: man. you were dating some guy because he had the potential to be rich, then you got taken for 100 bucks? seems fair enough to me, but what do i know? maybe next time you will date someone based of their character instead of how much earning potential they have.

Q: I recently went bra shopping at this clothing outlet about an hour or so from my house. Now, almost a week later, I've whipped out those new bras, only to discover that three of them do not fit at all. I cannot return them, the tags are gone, and I would not drive an hour to return them anyway. Any ideas on what I should do with these brand new, unwearable bras?

A: give them to the salvation army? that was easy.

Q: Have you ever had sex in the shower? My boyfriend wants us to try it, and we're not old fashioned, but I'm skeptical. Knowing me I'd slip on some soap or something. I know we could just buy one of those things so you don't fall, but that still doesn't help with positions and stuff. Recommendations?

A: don't do it in the shower. it is not worth the risk, plus, it is awkward and difficult to do in such a way that hits all the spots. you will slip and knock all of your teeth out on the faucet. i would suggest compromising and letting your boyfriend bend you over the bathroom sink and do it that way. the floor would be dry and not slippery, and you would be able to steady yourself a lot better. also it would be real sweet.

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