4-14-2004: my underpants are half off.

Q: why is your diaryland site called "dairyland"? / did you know that you spelled "diaryland" wrong? / (any other host of questions relating to dairyland.)

A: for some reason i got 40 trillion of these questions since the last installment of ASK NATALIE. so here goes:

DAIRYLAND is called DAIRYLAND because i wanted to call it DAIRYLAND. i was not going to title my diaryland site "DIARYLAND", because that would be like calling your live journal site "LIVE JOURNAL", so it is not an issue of me just spelling it wrong. if that was the case, i would have changed it sometime in the last year and a half or whatever.

in short, it is DAIRYLAND because it is my web diary and i can call it whatever i want.

Q: what do you think of william hungs success?

A: when i first read this question, i almost just deleted it, because i thought i did not know who william hung is. then i harkened back to the break room at work, and all those issues of US and PEOPLE magazine they have laying around, and then i thought i might just know who he is. if he is that chinese dude who looks like he has down syndrome, then yes, i know who he is. what do i think of his success? i think it is pretty sweet that someone who looks like they are retarded can be famous even though i have no idea what they did to get famous.

Q: My question is about your influences when drawing the "hatdog" cartoon. I considered it a clean and funny cartoon without any sexual references whatsoever. My friend however had the audacity to call me a perv for putting a link to in on my aol away message. Although i dont deny it, if i had been going for something sexual i would have opted for a dinosaur made our of dildos yelling about the atkins diet. In my opinion, hotdogs were never meant to be related to penises they are just an efficient method of packaging processed pork by-product.

A: first off, randall, i am gonna clarify something and say that the dinosaur is made of dildos AND buttplugs.

allright. now, i have actually been thinking about this very issue, since lately it seems i have been into drawing hotdog-related things. at first, i thought i was just drawing hot dogs. i enjoy a hotdog now and again. lately, what with the wedding and all, i have been having hotdog for more meals than ever before, since they are so quick and easy to prepare, and also delicious. (have you ever had a weiner wing? mmmmm fabulous.)

BUT, when i stop and think for a moment longer, i realize that a lot of the recurring themes in my drawings (hotdogs, and weinerdogs, and snakes, and mister tube, and the world trade center, all those boners, etc etc) are a bit much to ignore. the fact of the matter is, i just love cock. whenever you see a drawing i did of something even remotely shaped like a weiner, you better believe i drew it in homage to WONDERFUL BONES. NATALIE + WEINER. 2GETHER 4EVER.

Q: what should I name my rock band?

A: the hotdogs

Q: should I wax my moustache?

A: personally, i cant even keep my hair brushed, so worrying about waxing my upper lip seems kinda unreasonable. then again, i don't have some monster stache. so, if you have a big old moustache, wax it, if not, don't.

Q: Last night, my friend drove me home from work, normally my boyfriend drives me home, but I decided to get a ride home from my friend. I come home, I go to bed, and well, my boyfriends shorts were half off. I don't know why, cause he was sleeping so I wasn't gonna wake him up, but doesn't that seem kind of odd? What should I do? Should I ask him about it ? or should I just leave it alone?


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